question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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