Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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