I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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