'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
