If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
