We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
