nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
