my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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