just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
