So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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