He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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