Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
