HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
