My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
