I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
