MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
