Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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