I accidentally burped into my bong.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
