guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
