Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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