I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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