two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
