Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
