maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
