if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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