I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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