Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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