nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Boobs are out for the taking
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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