Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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