There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
