What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
