so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
