She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
