I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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