the condom got lost in my hair
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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