butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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