They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize