Plan B is the new Plan A
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
