By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
