this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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