i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it glows. i had to have it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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