wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
