Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
