My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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