So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
