Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
