Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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