last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
