yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
