Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
