I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
