if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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